Just a little bit about Me
In my early 20s, I was introduced to the fire service, in a third-world country, which opened a lot of doors for me. Shortly after my return home to the Central Coast, I was approached by the local fire chief, and asked if I would be interested in becoming a Paid Call Firefighter (PCF). I remember feeling exhilarated by this opportunity to become a part of something, greater than I could have ever imagined. I completed coursework, trainings, worked 24-hour shifts and obtained my EMT certification. I then started working for the local ambulance company as an EMT. I was on top of the world. I remember running calls and feeling alive and gaining a sense of purpose. After multiple failed physical tests with outside, municipal fire departments, I was directed to prehospital care and completed my training and certification in paramedicine. I started my internship and “baby paramedic” steps in Fresno, California. After about 1 year as a new medic, I had learned a lot about myself and experienced some significant trauma. I found myself internalizing these experiences and noticing myself becoming more jaded and cynical.
I choose to change up the scenery, especially since I am not a city girl, and went on to work in Oakhurst and rural foothill communities of Madera County and Yosemite for 5 years. Even though this was a “slower pace” than Fresno, I still found myself feeling less tolerant, angrier and struggling with significant nightmares and insomnia.
During my 5 years in the mountains, I came to the realization that mental health services were significantly lacking in rural areas, and I found myself hosting therapy sessions in the back of the ambulance with most of the patients I transported. I knew, mental health services were the direction my life was taking me, but I had no idea I would end up where I am now.
At the end of a 48-hour shift, literally 3 hours before logging off, I ran “the call” that most if not all first responders dread as being the call that ends our careers. Several hours after the call, I remember my boss calling me to “check in on me” and like any other day, I said “I am fine, I’ll be back tomorrow.” Days turned into weeks of distressing mental health symptoms that I had no idea how to manage, let alone identify, because who talks about their feelings anyway? Most symptoms I experienced in the beginning were physical (flashbacks, headaches, uncontrolled crying, abdominal pain, etc.), with an increase in insomnia and nightmares. I had intrusive thoughts about past traumatic events as well as an increase in anger and irritability. I had PTSD and I had no idea.
Fast forward to 2021, I had recently moved back to the Central Coast, and I was still trying to find my footing in the private practice world; when I had a friend call me up and ask if I could help his friend who works in the fire service who just had a traumatic call. At that moment, it became very clear that my path, my specialty, my passion would be coming back alongside first responders, not only as a former first responder but also as a culturally competent clinician who can help bridge the gap between first responder experiences and mental health wellness. I am exhilarated for the opportunities that have unfolded since the shift in my private practice focus and I am grateful to those who have entrusted me up to this point to walk alongside them in their mental health wellness journey
